That Thing That Never Was
by Neko-Chan in Wonderland
Summary: Oneshot: For Catchasre13: There are always things in life that you grow up regretting. For Edward Elric, that thing was Winry Rockbell. What he would give for a second chance... EdWinry


**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA.

**A/N:** Here's an Ed/Winry on request for Catchasre13. I haven't written any FMA for a while, and I can't say it'll be the best because the series on a whole is not too fresh in my mind. But, here's my best shot.

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There are several things in life that you grow old regretting. The things that, when you're alone, make you think, "Damn. If only I'd just…" but always become that thing that never was.

Edward Elric had one of those things. He thought he'd forget in time. He thought he'd forget the casual flip of blonde hair and the painful marks that silver wrench had left in his skull. But he was kidding himself.

Winry Rockbell would haunt him wherever he went. Whenever someone called his name crossly he would think it was her, storming up to him and asking where the hell he'd been all those years. Whenever he noticed a spot of rust on his automail, he would think, "Winry is going to be so pissed when she finds out."

But the thing is, she never would find out. And believe it or not, he sometimes even longed for that familiar whap of metal against his head, bringing him back to his senses with a stinging bruise. It would just be proof that she existed, because after twelve years, you start to forget that she did. Was she a dream? Was that entire world a dream?

His eyes would snap open in the middle of the night and dread would threaten to suffocate him. He would shake Al awake and ask him frantically, "Al, they were real, right? Roy and Winry and Hughes all existed, right?"

Al would give him a sad look and assure him that they were, and he would feel pathetic having to be comforted by his younger brother in the middle of the night.

It was after a few consecutive nights like this that he began to notice Al acting peculiarly. He would disappear for hours at a time and return home with explanations such as "I was taking a walk" or "I just needed some alone time". This was pretty unlike him. Al was never the brooding type to take long walks alone, contemplating on life. He was always more cheerful and preferred to be with company. On top of that, he would always be talking to Noa in hushed tones that would go silent when he neared. Even though they were together, it was the first time they had ever really let Ed feel left out around them. The whole situation was highly suspicious.

The sky seemed so much duller in this world, Edward mused, flexing his automail arm above him as lay on his back in a stretch of field by the river. He sat up and stared down at the yellowing grass at his feet and sighed softly. He closed his eyes and concentrated really hard, before clapping and pressing his hands into the earth. He waited 4, 5, 6 seconds before opening his eyes. Nothing happened except his fingers digging farther into the dirt. He gave a sound of exasperation and ripped up a few blades of grass in frustration. Homesickness came in waves every few years, and he was trapped in the middle of one.

Ed didn't really lead a particularly interesting life at this time, anyway, especially considering the chaos that had constantly followed him for most of his earlier years. He and Al decided they'd better lie low for a while, after the calamity they had caused in their teen years, and they had grown comfortable in their place. He was twenty-eight and had a job assisting at a local bakery, had a girlfriend, led a normal life considering the circumstances. What with Hitler rising to power, and the economic depression still upon them, it was a miracle that he could be living such a steady life. Especially considering he was hiding a gypsy in his attic. But in such a rural town, the madness of the rest of the world didn't reach quite so easily.

He and Al got by, but there was always that sense of longing. No matter how many new people they met, no matter how many beautiful blonde girlfriends he had, there was always something missing.

And it was probably her.

"Ed, there you are!" He spun around as he heard Al's familiar voice calling from the road behind him. "I've been looking all over the place for you! I've got something to show you, come on!"

Al's enthusiasm was refreshing, especially considering the fairly depressing thoughts he'd been having lately. He followed his energetic counterpart and his dark-skinned lover through the forest that ran wild on the western border of their little village. He clambered through the tangled mess of trees for what seemed like nearly an hour before they reached a small clearing. Scratched in the soil before him was unmistakably a transmutation circle.

"Al, what—?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Ed—I wanted it to be a surprise!"

"What are you—"

"But I think we're about ready, so…" Al took a deep breath. Noa was smiling knowingly behind him, and Ed just shifted his gaze dumbly from the circle to Al and then back to the circle again. "They contacted us!!"

"Wha…?"

"They contacted us, Ed! Roy did!"

Edward gaped.

"Well, it was weird, he got inside my head while I was sleeping… and sort of talked to me. He said he was aiming for you, but I was good enough." Al rambled a little, before turning his beaming face to the circle. "They said that they found a way to open the gate. All we have to do is create a transmutation circle in the exact same coordinates as them, and activate it at the exact same time. We don't know… if there will be consequences… but I don't know about you, but I'm willing to take the chance! Roy thinks that there might not be, we're not creating anything, we're just transporting it. I don't really know the details, but they've been working on it for years, and I think it's worth a shot."

Edward stared for a long time, trying to take in what he'd just heard. "When?" He croaked at last, his voice having left him.

"Mm, an hour I think."

"And it's here? Where will we end up?"

Al laughed. "Now this you won't believe. This the parallel to the woods by our hometown, the one where we used to play as kids."

A small smile crept onto Ed's face. No wonder he and Al had gotten so comfortable here. It explained the sense of home and familiarity he felt, and the reasons for his nostalgia as he sat by that river.

"An hour, you say?"

"Yep."

He didn't have much time. He had to do something; he had to make himself presentable. He backtracked frantically to that spring he had spotted on his path to the clearing. He washed his face, straightened his clothes and adjusted his hair. He was thankful that he hadn't procrastinated the trip to the barber's another week, because his hair still looked neat and freshly trimmed. Feeling satisfied he wandered back to the clearing, taking his time.

He ran though his head all the things that he would say to her. There was so much he wanted to tell her. They had remained bottled up in hopelessness for all those years, and he thought he would never have the chance to say them. But he was going back, going back _for good_, to the place where he really belonged. And she would be waiting for him, with a smile and maybe a new model of automail, teasing him for how outdated the technology on his arm was. She would chide him for letting it get rusty, and they would perhaps take a walk together by the river, talking about things that they had been too young and too shy to admit twelve years ago.

He returned to the clearing and walked in on a rather… private… moment between Al an Noa. They pulled apart and cleared their throats nervously, and Ed scuffed his boot against the ground awkwardly.

"It's almost time… isn't it?" Al piped up, trying to divert the conversation.

"Yeah…" Ed glanced towards Noa. "I assume she'll be coming too?"

"Yeah, I think it's much safer for her in our world anyway. We can finally live a happy life without having to confine her to our attic and sneak her out for fresh air only at night." Al said with an air of relief. It always had been a constant heartache for the two of them.

Al checked his watch. "Oh, whoa! Ed, hurry up, it's nearly time. I'll watch the clock, you get ready."

The three of them moved to the center of the circle, and Ed clapped, positioning his hands above the rings of symbols that surrounded them. Noa squeezed Al's hand tightly as he counted down. "Four… three… two… one… NOW!"

Edward slammed his palms into the ground, not caring about the pain that shot through him as his fingers collided with twigs and stray tree roots. For a split second he was afraid nothing would happen, but then, like a miracle, a rush of blue light enveloped them. Edward's stomach practically flew out of his mouth in his excitement as he closed his eyes to the bright light. When he opened them again he was standing amidst another clearing of trees. He was frightened for a moment that it didn't work and they were back where they started, but a deep voice from behind him brought all his fears to a sweet end.

"Edward, is that you?"

Ed spun around to that endearingly irritating voice that belonged to none other than Roy Mustang.

Edward let out a whoop of joy and leapt up to hug him. "Thank god for you, you filthy bastard!!"

Roy laughed. "You've been here what, ten seconds, and you're already calling me a bastard? You're as charming as ever." All the same he slapped Ed's back and the two of them pulled away from the hug, looking absolutely elated to see each other. "Well what do you know, that annoying little brat actually became a man." He ruffled Ed's hair and Ed felt a hint of cold metal against his forehead.

He grabbed Roy's hand and examined it to find a golden band encircling his ring finger. "You're _married_? Who the _hell_ was in crazy enough to marry your sleazy ass?"

Ed felt something cold against his temple and he turned around very slowly to find Riza Hawkeye pointing a gun to his head. Typical.

"That would be me."

"Oh… ha ha…. C-congratulations…" Ed stammered hastily, and Riza lowered the gun with a teasing smirk.

"Welcome back, Edward."

"Good to be back." They shook hands as Roy greeted Al and Noa. The five set off on the trek back into the village, laughing and reminiscing.

"Wait till Winry sees this man you've become." Roy slapped Ed roughly on his back as they crossed the fields leading to her house. "She's been flitting around for days, making everything perfect for you arrival. I don't think I've seen her this happy well… since you left." He finished quietly, his hair rustling in the breeze as he looked towards the familiar cottage. Ed's heart fluttered in his chest.

They paused at the door. "You ready?" Roy muttered.

Edward swallowed and nodded, and they knocked. A rush of footsteps were heard on the other side and the door flew open.

The next few moments were a blur of shrieking and hugging and all around joy… yet somehow Ed emerged with several lumps to the head.

The firs thing Winry had done was grab the nearest wrench and proceed with whacking Ed on any surface she could reach. "YOU SON OF A BITCH." She cried, still beating Ed to a pulp. "I MISSED YOU LIKE HELL."

For once, Edward relished the familiar bone breaking beat down. And after her last words, he grabbed the wrench out of her hand easily, and his more masculine figure really became prominent. She stared up at him as he discarded the wrench, and without further adieu, kissed the life out of her.

She wasn't going to become that thing that never was and never would be. She was here and he was here, and well, that's all they really needed.

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Yeah, I got a hint that you wanted a funnier one, but this was the best I could do. I hope you like it!!


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